just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
