I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
