honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
