Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
