The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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