he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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