they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
