wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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