I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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