Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
