Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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