She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Randomize
