its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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