I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
