she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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