Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
