Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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