i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
