i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
