I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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