Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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