please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My dick has a subreddit
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
