good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
