i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
