Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
