He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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