He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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