I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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