Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
