The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
People in love make me want to vomit
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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