I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
