he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
