Where did you get a picture of my penis
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
