Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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