i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
