He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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