this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
