okay pat passed out under dana's car
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
