i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
