Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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