Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize
