He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
