OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
