when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
