Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
