I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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