Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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