dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
