uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize