my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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