She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize