She's JV to your varsity
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
