put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is it because I queefed?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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