I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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