She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
