So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
