Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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