Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
