Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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