there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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