I seem to have left my pride at pride
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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