Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
