Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize