two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
we're so committed to being not committed
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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