I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
