I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
