i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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