one two three fourrrrnication!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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