I heard we made out
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
