Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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