dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
